S.O.S. please someone help me..

It's not healthy... for me to feel this way

so do you ever feel like you make that cry for help and no one notices? like, say, when you're drunk and shouldn't be driving but you do anyway and people let you cause they need a ride home or cause they know you've driven home drunk enough so many times you can make it... so when you "friend" needs to stay behind to get some ass, and the other one wants a ride home, you're the guy...

but whatever. that's really neither here nor there. what's really eating at you is that you're never gonna be the guy that she wants to go home with. you're nothing in her eyes. and yet, you're so pathetic you can't let her go completely. sooooo sad. soooooo sad. you'd think you would've learned by now... but no. still stupidly insistently go on thinking what you want cause that's what gets you through. well, that and the alcohol. but you don't have a problem, or so you tell yourself and everyone. you just do it cause it's a stress relief and you work hard so you can play hard.

it's a good thing you're a good liar. otherwise you might not believe yourself, and you for sure couldn't fool everyone else. but that's enough of that, time to go sleep on the futon now and wait for the call to go pick her up after her hookup.