should be sleeping

so i know i don't sleep enough and that's why i'm always tired..... but there's just too much to do to sleep... why can't someone make a pill to make up for that "lost" sleep?

i really meant to go to bed early tonight.. honestly i did. even had a couple strong gin and tonics to make sure i did... was gonna pass out and sleep great around 11... then jillian called... and then i started talking to tracie... and well, now it's after 1 and i'm still not in bed... what's my deal, yo?

oh well, i guess i'll jujst have to suck it up again tomorrow... like always. this will be the summer of no sleep. always goin somewhere and doin something on the weekends... and working crazy hours tryin to meet insane deadlines during the week. ugh. but i do it to myself, so i can't complain really... although i still think i should be able to :-)

and that's all she wrote...

fucked.0.jpg (JPEG Image, 590x446 pixels)

fucked.0.jpg (JPEG Image, 590x446 pixels) i'm not sure whether or not this was entirely true, but it's how i felt when she dumped me

happy.6.jpg (JPEG Image, 576x379 pixels) too, too true

afterthoughts

as if this weekend wasn't enough of a reminder that i miss being around people, tonight's grey's anatomy really nailed that home. although in a slightly different needing of people, more of the intimate, emotional variety.

since i've grown accustomed to spending so much time alone, coming home from work to my tivo and rarely anything else, i guess i'd forgotten how much i need to be with people. i may be an introvert, but i'm also a very social creature.

i'd (somehow) forgotten how great it was to sit around for hours just talking with people, not necessarily about anything even. sure i do that from time to time, but it's usually when we're out at the bar and that's just not the same... drinking satisifes other needs for me (to let go, to forget, to stop caring and just fucking have fun even if it's forgotten tomorrow).

and to come home and see the episode tonight stirred in just a touch of longing to be in a relationship to the mix, completing the recipe for an emotional night. and now i'm alone with my thoughts. nothing to keep me company except the random IM to serve briefly as a distraction.