weekend sum-uppance

the weekend wasn't so bad over here. golf outing friday, drank a fuckton. we figured for sure we had last place wrapped up, but no! somehow someone was worse. it was just unbelievable. came in second to last.... just felt cheated. i mean, we failed at trying to fail... pretty sad. but at least we drank a lot. my group had approx half the sales for the whole day for the beer girl, so at least we can succeed at that! then watching iowa state barely beat army and a few more beers, followed by a stop at ihop before going home to pass out.

saturday i laid on the couch all day watching tivo, reading, napping... oh it was great. about 4pm cain showed up, earlier than i expected him, so i had to put some clothes on (more than just my boxers i had on anyway) and shower. waited for emily, then hit up the indian oven for dinner with kevin and stacey. mmmmm, that's some good stuff. picked up travis, then went to the aristocrats. it was pretty good. some of it was just hilarious. some was a little too much. but all around good i'd say.

yesterday was another lazy day. woke up, read for an hour while waitin for mike to get up. met up with his parents for dinner at the amarillo (mmmm, good brisket), then went back to lay on couch tivo-ing, reading, etc. oh how i love to be lazy.

too true

what's it say about me that i've actually done this?

in other news, i'm in at work on my friday off. woohoo! err... umm.. doh!

dear blog

aren't you glad to know you serve as therapy?

Craig’s List Top 10 M4W Personal Ads

Craig’s List Top 10 M4W Personal Ads
funny stuff there... although i'm not sure what to make of the fact that i relate to #1 and 3. i guess that's not so bad, right?

of all the fruitless searches

went to ames this weekend for the greenday/jimmy eat world concert saturday night. jimmy could've played longer and i'd been happier, but still good show and lots of fun. some awkward moments since i was with emily, tracie and mary... hard not to have them with that group.

sometimes it just hurts though. knowing that i got left behind so she could go on to this. if she wasn't throwing herself away, i don't think i'd still be so hooked and attached... but it just hurts the more i hear about her current "relationship." it has to end sometime. i say that as a statement even though it's more of a query, but i need something solid and definite to grasp right now.

all and all it was a good weekend, even with the renewed longing. god i so wish i could just cancel my subscription to that painful association... must keep moving on anyway. can't hold onto the past forever. fuck. i sound like a broken record. always same problems, same whining, no resolution. i quit. salut. fin. end scene.

oh, by the way

i got myself a new car over the weekend. poor suzy finally gave up the ghost... had a nice, long, full life though. we had some good times together, but it's time to move on. seeking names, not a lot coming yet...

long days, longer nights

as usual, can't sleep. partly my fault since i can't stop reading, but i can't stop reading cause i'm not tired and can't sleep. at least i've got the time traveler's wife to keep me company...

so i get up to get a drink of water, poor some out of the brita pitcher in the fridge, and notice a family of racoons slinking around the dumpster on the parking lot above me. then, one-by-one, they cross the path over to bushes next to another building. just a sort of odd thing to sit and watch.

also can't sleep for the same reason(s) i'm always awake... can't stop thinking. plenty to think about lately too.

what with the mormons continually stopping by to bother me, and me wanting to just tell them to leave me alone but also holding on until i can actually ask them the questions i want (although i'm not sure why anymore since i won't get any satisfaction out of sort of crushing their system of beliefs)...

then there's rosalynne's death, which didn't really affect me so much since i wasn't too close to her, but death always makes you think about your own mortality. and that just makes me wonder what, if anything, people would say at my funeral. who would be there. why would they be there. how would they feel. inspired me to try keeping in touch with people better. and maybe even open up a little more...

and also made me think about the path i'm on. where i'm going. what i'm doing. why am i here (not the big Here, but just the here of Omaha). how much longer can i stand getting up and going to a job i can't stand?

these questions and more, all on the next episode of stalk paul...